Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize