did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Randomize
