i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
