at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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