regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize