You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
