It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
