oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
