I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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