Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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