exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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