U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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