im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize