we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
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running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
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just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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