UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
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good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
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I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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