Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
