YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
