I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
