What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
