It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I touched a dick in church today
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
