Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
