She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
