i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My dick has a subreddit
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
