I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I got inside last night via doggy door
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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