you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
