So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
