Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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