I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
