I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
