Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
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I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She bit a glass in half.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
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If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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