i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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