and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
