Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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