and next time when you feel me up, do it right
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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