I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize