I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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