Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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