after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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