we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
