fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
