she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Less talking, more tequila
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
