It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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