from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
