The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
