I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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