"it" just moved
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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