I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
false alarm, still single
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
