Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm bleeding and have questions
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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