he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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