yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
