No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
