Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
