Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
