No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
