i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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