woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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