Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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