My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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