Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
