I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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