My room smells like vodka and shame
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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