I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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