I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize